Living a lie
and I can barely understand why.
Love is the reason, or
is it hate the more
causal foe.

Time and time again,

Wanting to be a normal girl,
but the world is no help to the whirl
of madness and frustration of all this
love and hate. I can barely understand his
life, much less my own.

Time and time again,

Acting happy when I'm actually crying
inside at times. He tells me in his tone to stop whining
and to wait, but what is waiting for if the reward
isn't always very sweet. Like when hoards
of people come into play and all I want to do is run away.

Time and time again,

With or without him. I will disappear into the night
to open up my small dark wings and take flight.
He tells me to hold on, but I barely can
anymore. I stand by his side for love, but man
it's not always returned, but more of a wait.

Time and time again,

I wait for promises to be filled,
love to be returned and thrilled.
To have him to myself, but I know I never will.
To fly away from here, but it would kill
my only heart.

So I wait time and time again.